AOT #96: John Gray Podcasts Why Mars and Venus Collide
February 18, 2008 by Rob
Filed under Book Store Events
John Gray, Ph.D., is an internationally recognized expert in the fields of communication and relationships, and the author of fifteen books, including the internationally bestselling Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus. Gray discusses his new book Why Mars and Venus Collide: Improving Relationships by Understanding How Men and Women Cope Differently with Stress, in which he focuses on the ways that men and women misinterpret and mismanage the stress in their daily lives, and how these reactions ultimately affect their relationships.
($24.95) HarperCollins ISBN #0-06-124296-9. You can visit John Gray’s official web site as well.
author podcasts, books, podcasts, podcasting, book podcasts, literature, arts, Why Mars and Venus Collide, John Gray
Is there another edition of this book to which this summary refers? Because my copy pretty clearly only mentions the way WOMEN mismanage stress, and the WOMEN who fail to understand that men can’t help them more than 10% of the time (that’s Gray’s calculated percentage, not mine.)
As I understand it, his basic thesis is this: as women are the ones who started changing, they must now continue to change and learn to meet (90% of) their own needs. Men can’t change, are only able to meet their own needs – and are well-adapted (and cute) just the way they are, besides.
Then Gray goes on to cite the well-established facts that (a) women initiate most divorces, (b) women are much less likely than men to ever remarry, AND (c) women (but not men) are often HAPPIER after they divorce, Gray believes these things are true only because divorce forces women to do what they should have been doing all along… take care of their own needs. He goes on to suggest that they therefore should just learn to do it while staying married… to the men who can’t change, who can’t listen, who can’t understand, who aren’t supportive, who think women’s needs are foolish, and who John Gray no longer advises even to help with women’s “endless todo lists,” which clearly include picking up dirty socks, etc.
My question: is this thesis flattering to either sex?
I coped with my own stress about the book by throwing it across the room. Where John Gray’s Martian head collided with a wall. Which met my Venusian needs VERY WELL, thank you very much.